16 June 2003
My post yesterday reminded me of something that’s bothered me about diving. Apparently it’s long-haired fancy dans from the continent who dive and con referees, not honest Englishmen. There are people who say this with a straight face, and like the above, they probably aren’t paying attention.
Apropos of nothing really, let’s look at two of the big, big goals David Beckham scored for England in the last eighteen months or so.
There was the last-gasp free kick that got us to the World Cup. It was an absolute beauty, a real Beckham special, and that was one of his finest performances in an England shirt, but…it was never a free kick. ‘Wily’ Teddy Sheringham went up for a header with a Greek player behind him, and made as if he’d been pushed in the back. The referee was taken in, Beckham scored the free kick, and England avoided a play-off.
And the penalty against Argentina! Our heroic skipper wasn’t fully fit, but stepped up to take the penalty and redeem himself for being sent off against the same opponents four years earlier. He hit one of the worst penalties ever to go in, a matter of inches to the keeper’s left. Thankfully the keeper (Cavallero) just leant to his right and couldn’t throw out a foot to clear it. Again, it should never have been given. Pochettino was wrong-footed by Owen, yes, but it was a classic case of the forward leaving no margin for error by diving before he’d been tripped. I’ve debated this over and over with my friends, but like gun control and abortion in more politically-minded environments, we just have to agree to disagree.
(OK, not at all like political discussions.)
Owen dived once more against Slovakia to get us back on track. Although he’s less persistent than most, preferring to save his limited acrobatics for special occasions.
But all this ignores one of the pre-eminent divers of modern-day football: Francis Jeffers. You can talk about Inzaghi or van Nistelrooy, but this season, Jeffers dived to get a non-league player sent off.
Think about that for a moment. Here’s an English forward, playing for one of the top sides in the country against a non-league side, his team are going to win comfortably, and he gets this poor bloke sent off.
What’s wrong with him? Every time I put myself in that guy’s shoes I just feel absolutely gutted for him. Yes, Campo dived on the final day, which got Franck Quedrue sent off. I don’t like this and it took the edge off the day for me, but I don’t claim that Bolton players don’t dive or that every dive is evil and should be stamped out, nor do I think it’s an essential part of the game. I think the game would be better without it, no doubt, but it’s not going to go away no matter how hard we try.
It’s not about the players, it’s about the fans and media being blinkered and not wanting to criticise their own. It may be true that we never used to dive (although I’m not sure about that) but we’ve certainly wised up now. The moral high ground is an ivory tower built on sand. It slides just a little bit every time an Englishman takes a tumble or writhes about in agony after falling with the ease of a judo master. I wonder when it will finally crumble into the sea.